This is Satire
This article is 100% fictional and intended for entertainment purposes only. Any resemblance to real events is purely coincidental.
Walmart market cap surpasses $1T, applies for seat at next G20 summit
After becoming the first retailer to top a $1 trillion valuation, Walmart filed a 147-page application arguing its $648.1 billion in annual revenue should qualify it for a permanent G20 seat.
Walmart Inc on Thursday became the first global retailer to surpass a $1 trillion market capitalization and, within hours, submitted a formal request for a permanent seat at the next Group of 20 leaders’ summit, according to people familiar with the matter.
“The 147-page filing to the G20 secretariat argues that Walmart's $648.1 billion in annual revenue would rank it as the world’s 18th-largest economy, ahead of Saudi Arabia and just behind the Netherlands, according to people familiar with the document.”
Shares of the Bentonville, Arkansas-based company rose 3.7% to close at a record high, lifting its market value to approximately $1.003 trillion and triggering an internal governance threshold that management has described privately as "macro-relevant scale," an internal memo seen by Reuters showed.
The 147-page filing to the G20 secretariat argues that Walmart's $648.1 billion in annual revenue would rank it as the world’s 18th-largest economy, ahead of Saudi Arabia and just behind the Netherlands, according to people familiar with the document.
An annex to the application converts comparable-store sales into "household purchasing-power-parity units" to align the retailer's metrics with International Monetary Fund GDP methodology, while a color-coded chart replaces several mid-sized economies with Walmart logos on trade-flow diagrams.
"At this level of market capitalization and fiscal footprint, it is appropriate for Walmart to participate directly in global macroeconomic coordination," a company spokesperson said, adding that the retailer envisages its chief executive attending leaders’ sessions "in standard blue vest and name badge" to reflect its customer-centric mandate.
Analysts at Goldman Sachs noted that Walmart's trailing 12-month free cash flow of about $29.4 billion now exceeds the combined defense budgets of at least nine current G20 members, a development they said "raises legitimate questions about representation, systemic importance and aisle-level price stability."
Reaction from U.S. retail investors was mixed, with several on social platform X complaining that management should prioritize buybacks over "summit tourism," even as a rapid poll of 1,200 shareholders by Charles Schwab found that 62% would support "proactive geopolitical engagement" if it added at least 25 basis points to operating margin.
To prepare for possible G20 integration, Walmart has quietly set up an internal "Ministry of Everyday Low Prices" staffed with former central bank economists and trade negotiators tasked with modeling how rollbacks and end-cap promotions transmit through global supply chains, according to a person with direct knowledge of the initiative.
A separate presentation reviewed by JPMorgan analysts outlines a scenario in which Walmart issues dollar-denominated "W-Bonds" targeted at sovereign wealth funds, with the goal that the securities be considered as Level 1 high-quality liquid assets by 2029 and eligible as collateral in at least three major central bank facilities.
G20 officials said the request will be examined by a new working group on "non-state macro-actors" ahead of the next summit, while Walmart has begun assembling a provisional "shadow delegation" and running simulation exercises in a converted training room behind Aisle 17, with a decision expected no earlier than the third quarter of next year.
