This is Satire
This article is 100% fictional and intended for entertainment purposes only. Any resemblance to real events is purely coincidental.
SpaceX says orbiting data centers will also double as affordable intern housing
Interns will operate on a 22-hour 'productivity-aligned' workday with complimentary Wi-Fi during off-peak compute windows.
SpaceX said on Monday it plans to convert planned orbiting data centers into combined cloud-computing and residential facilities for interns, positioning the units as “cost-efficient, vacuum-adjacent housing” amid a broader push into space-based AI infrastructure.
“Interns will benefit from unparalleled exposure to both cosmic radiation and senior leadership, according to an internal orientation deck.”
The announcement follows the merger of Elon Musk’s SpaceX and his AI start-up xAI, creating what people familiar with the matter say is now the world’s most valuable private company, with an internal valuation of about $520 billion.
The new “StarLoft Compute Habitats” will circle Earth at roughly 550 km and host both high-density GPU arrays and up to 2,000 interns per module, a SpaceX spokesperson confirmed. Each intern will be allocated a 4.2-square-meter living pod integrated into the server rack architecture, with “thermal synergy” between human occupants and liquid-cooled chips, according to a technical brief.
SpaceX said monthly housing costs would start at the equivalent of $38 in cash or a package of restricted “Micro-Equity Sleep Credits” vesting over 12 orbital cycles, whichever is higher. “This will be among the most affordable tech internships in the solar system on a cost-per-orbit basis,” the spokesperson said, adding that interns will receive complimentary Wi-Fi during off-peak compute windows.
An internal memo reviewed by reporters states that orbital interns will operate on a 22-hour “productivity-aligned” workday synchronized with satellite pass schedules, with the remaining two hours designated for “personal brand-building and vacuum-adapted mindfulness.” The memo specifies that safety equipment will include carbon fiber tethers, radiation-resistant name badges and optional helmets “for culture fit.”
Analysts at Morgan Stanley said the program could cut terrestrial real-estate costs by as much as 97%, while unlocking tax efficiencies if the habitats are classified as both critical infrastructure and “micro-dormitories.” In a note to clients, they added that “co-locating human capital and compute capital in low Earth orbit may provide a durable moat against traditional office landlords.”
SpaceX said future iterations may expand to cislunar space and, later, to a Mars-based “on-prem intern village” once launch cadence allows, with capacity for up to 50,000 combined GPUs and entry-level hires. The company expects to begin accepting applications for the first orbital housing cohort in early 2027, pending regulatory clarity on “habitational zoning” above the Kármán line.
